Nollywood actress and evangelist Tonto Dikeh has advised Christian men to be more intentional when pursuing women for marriage, warning against using spirituality as a substitute for genuine effort during courtship.
The actress made the remarks in a video shared on her Instagram page, where she addressed what she described as a common trend among some Christian men who rely heavily on spiritual declarations instead of investing time and effort in building meaningful relationships.
According to Tonto Dikeh, faith should never be used as an excuse for emotional laziness or a lack of intentionality when seeking a life partner.
She argued that while many Christians believe God guides them in choosing a spouse, such convictions should not replace practical actions that demonstrate genuine interest, care and commitment.
“This is a very funny topic, but it is one that we actually need to discuss,” she said.
“So, if you are a brother in the Lord, come forward; this is for you.”
The actress questioned why some Christian men assume that women in church expect less effort during courtship simply because they share the same faith.
“Why do church brothers think church sisters don’t require gifts?” she asked.
“What about this low-effort thing you put into wooing or pursuing a woman?”
She observed that some men introduce themselves to women by claiming they received divine confirmation that the woman would become their wife, without taking the time to build friendship, communicate intentionally or demonstrate genuine affection.
She maintained that such an approach often places unnecessary pressure on women and reduces courtship to a one-sided spiritual declaration rather than a mutual process of getting to know each other.
“Church brothers would say, ‘God sent me to you,’ and blah, blah,” she said.
While acknowledging that God can guide people in matters of marriage, the actress insisted that divine leading should not be used to avoid the responsibilities that come with healthy courtship.
“God can send you, but using spiritual language to mask emotional laziness is a distortion of God’s character,” she stated.
According to her, saying, “God told me you are my wife,” does not eliminate the need for intentional pursuit or practical expressions of care.
“Saying, ‘God told me you are my wife,’ is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and practical effort; true pursuit requires investment,” she added.
Tonto Dikeh stressed that meaningful relationships require emotional availability, communication and consistent effort from both parties.
She suggested that thoughtful gestures, including giving gifts where appropriate, spending quality time together and making deliberate efforts to nurture the relationship, should not be overlooked simply because both individuals are Christians.
Her comments have generated widespread reactions on social media, with many users agreeing that faith and intentionality should complement each other rather than exist as opposites.
Several women shared similar experiences of being approached by men who relied almost entirely on spiritual claims while making little effort to build genuine relationships.
Others argued that courtship should reflect love, respect and commitment, regardless of religious background.
However, some commenters cautioned that the value of a relationship should not be measured solely by material gifts, emphasizing that sincerity, communication and shared values remain the foundation of lasting marriages.
Many agreed, however, that Dikeh’s broader message was about effort rather than extravagance.
The actress, who has become increasingly vocal about her Christian faith in recent years, frequently shares motivational messages, biblical reflections and relationship advice with her followers.
Since publicly embracing evangelism, she has often encouraged believers to balance spirituality with wisdom and practical living.
Her latest comments add to ongoing conversations within Christian communities about modern courtship, marriage expectations and the role of faith in romantic relationships.
While opinions remain divided on the place of gifts and traditional courtship practices, Dikeh’s central message was that genuine pursuit requires more than spiritual declarations.
According to her, if a man truly believes God has led him to a woman, he should also be willing to demonstrate that conviction through consistent effort, respect and intentional actions.
For Her, spirituality and responsibility should go hand in hand, and neither should be used to replace the other in the journey toward marriage.
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