Author: Winifred Andem
Oral sex (blow job, cunnilingus) can be intimate, awkward, overrated, or the best part of sex, depending on who you ask. Some people love giving it, others prefer receiving it, and for some, shame, self-consciousness or bad experiences make it difficult to enjoy.
We asked seven Nigerians to share how they really feel about oral sex. Here’s what they had to say.
Oral sex is great, and I particularly enjoy giving. I like knowing I can make my partner feel good. Receiving, however, makes me very self-conscious. I worry about how I look or smell and whether I’m doing everything right, even though none of my partners have ever complained. Social media and porn have also shaped how I see my body and what I think it should look like, so I struggle to get out of my head long enough to enjoy myself.
Overall, I’m a fan. I just wish I could relax when my partner is down there.
I once read that oral sex is sex, and that completely changed how I think about it. Most people treat it as foreplay, like something you do before the real sex begins. But I don’t agree. Oral sex can be the main event too, and I think we should start treating it as such. It doesn’t always have to lead to penetrative sex.
That said, I prefer giving. I enjoy pleasing my partner, and there’s something about watching her enjoy herself that makes me feel good too.
People treat oral sex like a stop on the way to penetrative sex, but I think it’s an art form in its own right. It can feel vulnerable, intimate and, when there’s real attraction, incredibly pleasurable.. I also think that it is an opportunity for partners to explore each other’s bodies and get familiar with areas that are more sensitive.
Personally, I get more pleasure from giving than receiving. I always feel very powerful when a man’s dick is in my mouth. Although I’m not into every form of oral sex, especially rimming, when I’m really attracted to a man, I’m open to exploring.
A lot of Nigerians grow up hearing that oral sex is dirty and not something decent people should do. That shame follows people into adulthood, even when they enjoy it.
There’s also a double standard in how people approach it. Some men expect women to give them oral sex but refuse to return the favour because they consider it “nasty.” Meanwhile, women who openly ask for what they want are often labelled whores. I’d like us to stop treating oral sex like a gendered obligation. If people choose to do it, it should be because everyone involved actually wants to and enjoys it.
I enjoy oral sex and like both giving and receiving, although I usually prefer to give. What I don’t understand is the unnecessary shame and awkwardness people attach to it. Sometimes, that shame gets in the way of people exploring something they might actually enjoy. Still, I consider it a personal choice. People shouldn’t feel pressured to participate just because it’s considered normal or expected in romantic relationships.
There’s an expectation that oral sex with women should be automatically mind blowing, but that’s not always the case. Especially in the beginning when you’re still figuring out what your partner enjoys. You have to learn how to navigate their body.
I have no issues giving oral pleasure to women. With men, though, it never works for me. My gag reflex gets in the way and I throw up whenever I try too hard. I’m always on the receiving end with my male partners and I find other ways to please them.
I’ve never had the chance to give oral sex, but I’ve received and enjoyed it. Despite having access to so much information, I think many people are still misinformed about sex because they’ve never questioned what they were taught. . A lot of those beliefs are rooted in shame
Personally, if something feels good and can be enjoyed safely and consensually, I don’t see why anyone should feel ashamed of it. I just wish more people were curious, open-minded and willing to learn.
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