Silence, as a tool for personal growth and leadership, is mostly underutilised by people who constantly seek attention and try to dominate their environments. The person who rarely speaks commands attention when they finally do.
As much as the Bible says that sin is not to be absent in many words, so the silence is not to be abhorred by a person who wants to take command of their environment.
Silence attracts attention and can make quiet people seem to hold deeper truths that agitate the mind. When deployed as a deliberate act of strategic control, life becomes a silent movie, giving the wielder of silence the upper hand. When people speak, they give away their next plan, but when they keep silent, their foes are in complete darkness over what to expect from them.
When people lack information about you, you’re safer than those who talk beyond what is necessary. You can only control your environment when you avoid noise and embrace silence that stimulates neurogenesis.
Strictly Private
Few people have embraced silence as a strategy for personal growth and leadership.
One of the few I have met recently is Mrs Victoria Gowon, who still stands unbent by the ailments associated with people approaching octogenarians.
Little is known about Nigeria’s youngest First Lady, who was thrust into the national limelight and later put the country on the global map for the uniqueness of African fashion when she accompanied her husband, General Yakubu Gowon, during the state visit to the United Kingdom in June 1973.
Much has been speculated about her, but only the recent release of her husband’s memoir has thrown light on the taciturn former First Lady whose life can best be described as strictly private.
Always by her husband’s side for over 57 years, Mrs Gowon first astounded me with her strong articulation and ability to recall events in detail.
In a nation where people love to hear their voices, Lady Victoria, who walked from Wusasa in Zaria, Kaduna State, is an enigmatic icon in the deployment of silence, not to ignore the public but to be distracted from what she set out to achieve.
After marrying Gowon in April 1969, she identified her singular goal: to be a dutiful wife and an active mother committed to raising children of good character worthy of emulation.
Raised Toughly
As the third child of a family of 10, comprising two males and eight females, the former First Lady describes her early life as disciplined under the watchful eyes of her parents, Mallam Walter Zakari and Mrs Lydia Fati Zakari. Unlike many parents, the Zakaris trained their children to help with dishes, cooking, and more, without gender discrimination. She recalls that on weekends, her father would taste the meals the boys prepared to assess their cooking skills.
She recalled that the girls were encouraged to bring both female and male friends to the house for interactions. As in the past, the family structure included not only close family but also distant relations.
Recalling how her parents warned them against any discrimination against anyone who was not a sibling, her father, one of the early bureaucrats in the North, always reminded his children to treat others as they wanted to be treated, as instructed in the scriptures.
Her mother had to abandon her dream of becoming a nurse to look after the children.
Through her mother’s decision, Lady Victoria learned the essence of motherhood as a sacrifice for her children.
