Sunken Ships is a Naijaonpoint weekly series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.
Idowu* (28) and Tito* (28) met as children and became inseparable. For nearly two decades, they shared almost everything. Then Idowu discovered a secret that shattered the friendship she thought would last forever.
For Sunken Ships, Idowu shares how finding out that Tito was secretly involved with her ex-boyfriend broke her heart and changed the way she sees friendship and trust.
We’ve been best friends since we were 10. We met at her cousin’s birthday party in 2008. The following year, I saw her again on my first day of secondary school. We spotted each other on the assembly grounds, clicked immediately and became inseparable after that day.
As we grew older, our friendship only got stronger. She was the first person I called whenever anything happened, and vice versa. By the time we got to university, everyone knew us as a pair. If you saw me somewhere, Tito was probably close by.
We were so close that even our mothers became good friends.
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In 2019, I started dating Tunde*. It was my first serious adult relationship.
At first, things were great. Tito actually encouraged me to give him a chance because I was deeply religious and reluctant to date.
We stayed together until 2021, when we discovered that our blood types were incompatible and had to end the relationship. I knew we had no choice, but that didn’t make the breakup any easier. I cried for weeks.
Tito was my biggest support system during that period. She’d stay on the phone with me for hours while I cried and talked about Tunde. She encouraged me and reminded me that I could still find love.
That’s why what happened next hurt so much.
About six months after the breakup, I started noticing some strange things. Whenever I mentioned Tunde, Tito would get awkward and quickly change the subject. I thought she was just tired of hearing about my ex, so I didn’t think much of it.
Then, during a hangout with a mutual friend, she casually mentioned that she had seen Tunde and Tito together around town. I was confused because Tito never mentioned seeing him.
As soon as I left the hangout, I called Tito and asked if she and Tunde had been spending time together. She laughed it off and said people were being messy. She claimed they’d bumped into each other once or twice and only exchanged pleasantries.
I believed her. Why wouldn’t I? Tito was the last person I expected to lie to me, especially about something like this. So I let it go.
Then, a few weeks later, I saw them myself.
My cousin was visiting from the UK, so we went to a restaurant to catch up. We were halfway through our meal when Tito and Tunde walked in together.
Tunde had his hand around her waist and she was laughing with him. The sight ruined my appetite. I couldn’t stop staring until Tito looked up and saw me. She looked like she’d seen a ghost.
I walked straight to their table and demanded an explanation. At first, she insisted they were just friends, but I wasn’t buying it. Eventually, she admitted they’d been seeing each other for three months.
Barely three months after Tunde and I ended our relationship.
That’s not even the worst part. It was finding out the layers of lies. According to Tito, everything started after Tunde and I officially broke up. She’d called him a few months after we broke up to mediate a reunion. She tried to convince him that we could still have a relationship, give up the idea of biological children and adopt instead.
But one thing led to another, and they realised they were attracted to each other. Then they started exploring that attraction without my knowledge because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings.
I told Tito that the relationship itself wasn’t even my biggest issue; what truly hurt was the dishonesty. You can’t call someone your best friend and spend months lying to their face.
He sat there looking like he’d forgotten how to speak. He didn’t say anything throughout the conversation, and honestly, I didn’t care.
We were over; he didn’t owe me anything. But Tito was different. I saw her as my sister, so I expected more from her.
I stopped talking to Tito. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
Losing her felt like going through another rough breakup. For weeks, she called and apologised. She sent long messages saying she missed me and didn’t want to lose our friendship.
But every time I read her messages, I remembered all the conversations we’d had while she was hiding the truth. I couldn’t get past it.
No. I’ve forgiven her because carrying that anger around was exhausting, but I’ll never trust her again. After we stopped talking, I started wondering if she’d been eyeing Tunde before we even split up. I’ll never know for sure.
She threw away our sisterhood for a relationship she wasn’t even sure would last. The last I heard, they aren’t together anymore.
Yes. I don’t believe in best friends anymore. I think the only people who can truly have your back are your family. I still have close friends, but I know deep down that if push came to shove, they’d choose what’s best for them. I’ll probably do the same.
Not really. I’m currently in a loving relationship that’s almost two years old, and I feel cherished.
She sends me a birthday message every year on WhatsApp, but I never reply. I have nothing to say to her anymore.
Names have been changed to protect the identities of the people involved.
Read Next: Sunken Ships: He Dumped Me Because I Forgave Him
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