Explains how a friend’s wife wanted to matchmake him with her younger sister
OLUSOLA FABIYI, Abuja
A former Head of State, General Yakubu Gowon, has explained that it was difficult for him to choose a wife when he assumed leadership of the country in July 1966.
Gowon said he was almost unable to differentiate between the affection and love the ladies had for him because of his position.
He made the revelation in his autobiography, titled My Life of Duty and Allegiance, which was launched in Abuja on Wednesday.
Gowon, who was Nigeria’s military leader for nine years between 1966 and 1975, was born on 19 October 1934 and became Head of State at the age of 31 while still unmarried.
He said in the book that he remained a bachelor to focus on his growing military career.
Unfortunately, whenever he thought about getting married, the girls would either ‘make yanga’, as he described it, or put obstacles in the way, making it difficult for him to continue such relationships.
He said: ‘‘I remained a bachelor … because I was focused on my growing career and, as such, needed to be realistic about whether it was convenient to get married at that stage. The few times it crossed my mind to get serious, the girls were either ‘making yanga’ or putting up various obstacles that made it difficult to continue with such relationships. I later realised that some of those early relationships did not have any place in my life’s span.’’
He, however, said he benefited from being a bachelor, as it enabled him to attend many courses that his married colleagues could not attend because they did not want to leave their young families.
But he said that when the civil war started in January 1966, he began thinking about having a family, fearing that if he died, his name would also die with him, as there would be no one to carry on the family name.
Gowon said: ‘‘Since my status as a bachelor was quite convenient for the Army authorities, I became a soft target for endless streams of nominations to attend one career development course or another in different parts of the world. Many of my married colleagues readily passed up their nominations to avoid being separated from their young families.
‘‘As a bachelor, the absence of encumbrances associated with supporting a nuclear family meant that my bags were always packed, and I was ready to go whenever the order came.
‘‘At the initial stage, the pace of the military courses kept me constantly on the move. Much later, the crises that quickly built up from the night of 15 January 1966 kept me far too busy to contemplate getting into any meaningful relationship with the opposite sex.
‘‘However, by the time I assumed office as Head of State, I had become more conscious of my mortality, particularly as I escaped being killed by the Bulaba tribesmen in the Congo, survived the first coup and had a central role in prosecuting the civil war. I began to give serious thought to the future.
‘‘The more I reflected on my situation, the more it dawned on me that there was no guarantee that I would see the next day. I started to consider starting a family that would perpetuate my name if something untoward happened to me.’’
How Marriage Proved Difficult
Though he was desirous of getting married and starting a family of his own, the former Head of State explained in clear terms how marriage became difficult for him.
He said: “Marriage, however, proved difficult for a host of reasons – personal and official. The dictates of my office made it extremely difficult even to contemplate starting, much less nurturing, certain kinds of relationships.
