Weddings are supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. But for some people, the biggest source of stress isn’t the budget, the guest list or the planning, it’s family.
We asked Nigerians to tell us about the worst thing a family member did during their wedding, and how they dealt with it. Here’s what they said.
When my husband and I were planning our wedding in 2019, we told our families we didn’t want a big celebration. But because we are both firstborns, they kept pressuring us. Eventually, we agreed to 250 guests. It was more than we wanted, and I made it clear that 250 was my limit.
After the church service, I got to the reception and immediately noticed something was wrong. The venue was packed. I was already upset because I thought the venue had double-booked the day, but that wasn’t the case.
I later found out that my aunt had secretly printed 200 extra invitation cards and had invited almost everyone in my mother’s extended family, plus people from our hometown. She even hired two extra caterers and servers.
A venue that should have comfortably seated 300 people had to squeeze in over 450. The ACs couldn’t cool the space, and everything became clumsy and chaotic. My aunt wasn’t apologetic in the least. She said she didn’t know why I wanted to keep my wedding a secret. I was so angry, I spent the rest of the reception stewing.
I’ve refused to speak to or interact with her since then.
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My family is deeply religious, so my parents insisted there’d be no alcohol at the wedding reception. My wife and I didn’t mind because we’d planned an after-party with our friends.
Before the big day, my groomsmen stocked my car with cartons of alcohol. I gave my younger brother, who was also my best man, the car key because I trusted him completely.
The reception went well, and then it was time for the after-party. When the older guests left, I started looking for my brother so we could bring out the booze. He was nowhere to be found, and his number wasn’t going through either.
I had to beg my friends to rush to a supermarket to buy more alcohol, which meant spending more money. I was angry, but I tried to enjoy the night.
The next day, during the Thanksgiving service, I asked my brother why he had disappeared the night before. He then explained that drinking alcohol ‘didn’t honour God or our parents’ and he felt like my friends had pressured me into wanting an after-party. I almost beat him up. I was so angry I didn’t speak to him for weeks. The only reason I eventually forgave him was that he hadn’t thrown the drinks away.
Three years before I got married, I dated a man my father absolutely adored. I’m not even sure why. The relationship ended after he cheated on me, but somehow my father never stopped liking him.
Imagine my shock when I noticed him at my wedding reception. At first, I thought he’d somehow gotten an invitation through mutual friends, but no. My father invited him.
When I confronted my dad, he said that he thought we were still friends. I still cringe whenever I remember that day. Every time I caught a glimpse of him at that reception, I got irritated. It was so bad that my husband noticed, and I had to explain what happened. It was so embarrassing.
When I got married, guests sprayed us with a lot of money, and my dad’s friends also gave us several cash gifts. We had a designated area for envelopes and a table for presents.
The wedding was fantastic, and my wife and I didn’t realise anything was wrong until we started sorting gifts the next day. Several envelopes were empty, and others were missing.
After asking around, we discovered my cousin had been helping himself to the money throughout the reception. I don’t know why he thought nobody would notice. The betrayal was shocking. This was someone I’d grown up with.
The worst part was how my family handled it. Instead of demanding accountability, they kept asking me to forgive him because he’s family. I eventually did, but I’d never trust him with anything important again.
My older cousin had been trying for a baby for years, so when she told me she’d finally gotten pregnant about two weeks before my wedding, I was genuinely happy for her.
She s wanted to keep the news private, and I respected her wish.
Two nights before my wedding, my female relatives, bridesmaids and aso-ebi ladies organised a small bridal shower for me. Halfway through the shower, my cousin stood up and announced that she was expecting.
The room exploded. People screamed, cried, hugged her, and completely forgot why we’d gathered in the first place. I just sat there watching my bridal shower turn into a pregnancy celebration. I felt guilty for being upset because I knew how much the pregnancy meant to her. But it still hurt. There were so many other days she could have made that announcement. Why choose mine?
I was already stressed enough without having to manage grown adults behaving like toddlers.
One of my uncles arrived late to the reception and discovered the caterers had run out of the meal he wanted. Instead of choosing something else, he started shouting at the servers. Another uncle told him to calm down. Within minutes,
it escalated into pushing, insults and people threatening physical violence. I was so embarrassed. Thankfully, my cousins and some groomsmen stepped in before things got worse.
The fight lasted less than 10 minutes, but it became the main topic of conversation afterwards. Eight years later, my family members still bring it up whenever my wedding is mentioned.
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