Sunken Ships is a Naijaonpoint weekly series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.
When Philip* (26) met Tooni*(24) at a mutual friend’s birthday party, they clicked almost immediately. Two months later, they were dating, and he thought they were building something strong.
Then Tooni moved in with new roommates, and their relationship changed.
For Sunken Ships, Philip talks about watching their relationship fall apart, …-breakup request that made him block her number, and how this has affected the way he views love.
We met at a mutual friend’s birthday party in December 2024. We got paired up for the night’s games, and I felt a strong connection to her. She seemed to feel it too, because when I asked for her number afterwards, she gave it to me and told me to text her.
We talked for over a month. Then, in February 2025, I asked her to be my Valentine and my girlfriend. She said yes, and that was the start of our journey. It was beautiful in those early days.
She’d cook during her meal prep and send food to me. When we hung out, she’d make cute videos of us and send them to me while I was at work to lift my mood. She was also a great listener, and I loved talking to her about anything and everything.
She was a hard worker too, so I tried to support her ambitions. When she asked me to help build a website for her shoe retail business, I was happy to do it.
Not really. It felt like our problems appeared all at once. We went from being two people in love to constantly arguing over little things.
In April, she had to move because of some issues with her previous roommate. Her new roommates were old friends, but I think living with them changed her.
She started picking fights and comparing our relationship to her friends’. She complained that I didn’t spend enough time with her and that I couldn’t afford some of the expensive experiences she wanted us to have, like high-end dinner dates.
I tried to make more time for her, but I work a nine-to-five, so there was only so much free time I had. I also promised to be more intentional about taking her on a proper date at least once every quarter.
At first, it seemed like it did. A few weeks later, though, we were back to the same arguments.
I was also under a lot of pressure at work, so I know I wasn’t always as patient as I could have been. But I felt like Tooni cared a lot about how our relationship looked to other people. I didn’t.
As long as we were happy, I didn’t care what anyone thought about us. But it mattered to her that people saw us in a particular way.
I didn’t like it, but I was willing to compromise if it would help us stay together. Then everything changed in November 2025.
She finished her service year, and her roommates took her out with some other friends to celebrate. I don’t have all the details, but I suspect she met someone else that night.
After that outing, she became cold and hard to reach. We went from fighting a few times a month to barely speaking. I was worried we were drifting apart, so I tried even harder to get her to engage with me. But in early December, she broke up with me.
She said we didn’t have enough shared ambition and that she wanted someone more driven. Apparently, she didn’t think I was driven enough for her.
It hurt because I genuinely enjoyed our relationship when things were good. I missed the connection we had, but I tried to move on quickly. Checking her social media helped me do that, strangely enough. She seemed happy and was already posting with a new man.
What surprised me was how much it hurt to see her post him more than she ever posted me when we were together. Eventually, I had to stop thinking about it and move on.
Yes, she reached out about two weeks later.
I thought she wanted to see how I was doing or explain why she moved on so quickly. Instead, she asked if I’d be willing to update and maintain her shoe website for free in the future, for ‘old times’ sake.
I was so annoyed that I hung up and blocked her number. I wouldn’t have minded if she had asked for a discount or some other arrangement. But after breaking up with me, she still expected me to maintain her website for free. It felt like she was trying to use the soft spot I still had for her to get unpaid work from me.
No, losing her hurt me a lot at first, but I think enough time has passed. Maybe the truth is that we weren’t right for each other. I just know that right now, I want something different in my next partner.
Not really. I see it as one of those things you experience on the streets.
I still believe in love, and it may take a while, but I’ll find my better half eventually.
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