Veteran Nollywood actress Toyin Afolayan, also known as Lola Idije, has cautioned against pressuring women to marry early, arguing that some may not get married until they are 40 or 50 and should not be judged for raising children without husbands.
The actress made the remarks during an appearance on the Africanlist Podcast, where she spoke about the challenges faced by single mothers and the societal expectations placed on women regarding marriage.
Idije defended women who raise their children without partners, noting that not every woman deliberately chooses to become a single parent.
According to her, some women find themselves in situations where they must shoulder the responsibilities of raising their children without the support of a husband.
During the podcast, Idije explained that women should not be condemned simply because they do not have husbands to help them raise their children.
“Not everybody will have a husband to help them raise their children. So women have to carry their burden alone. Not all of them choose that life,” she said.
The actress argued that circumstances beyond a woman’s control can determine how she navigates relationships and motherhood.
She stressed that raising children without a husband does not automatically make a woman irresponsible.
Her comments highlighted the difficulties single mothers may encounter while balancing childcare, financial responsibilities and other demands without a partner’s support.
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“My lifestyle is simple”, Lola Idije clarifies on-screen image
Idije also questioned the societal pressure placed on young women to get married at an early age.
She argued that women should be allowed to make decisions about marriage without being rushed by family members, friends or society.
According to the actress, reaching a particular age should not automatically mean that a woman must get married.
She noted that some women may not find suitable partners until later in life, while others may experience circumstances that delay their plans for marriage.
Idije’s position was that women should not be judged simply because their lives do not follow society’s preferred timeline.
The actress further questioned whether marrying young necessarily guarantees a successful relationship.
She asked how anyone could be certain that a woman who gets married at 20 would not end up choosing the wrong partner.
“But if you start pressuring them at 20, how can you be sure that they won’t marry the wrong person?” she said.
Her remarks suggested that the pressure to marry early could encourage some women to make important relationship decisions before they are ready.
Rather than focusing primarily on age, her comments drew attention to the importance of making thoughtful decisions about marriage and choosing a suitable partner.
Idije’s comments also addressed the stigma sometimes associated with women who raise children without husbands.
She argued that not all women become single mothers by choice and that some have to take responsibility for their children because of the circumstances surrounding their relationships.
Her position challenged the assumption that a woman’s marital status determines her ability to raise responsible children.
The actress’s remarks highlighted the need to consider individual circumstances before judging women who navigate motherhood without partners.
During the discussion, Idije also spoke about motherhood and its emotional impact on women.
“When women start giving birth, they become softer,” she said.
Her observation was part of a broader conversation about women’s experiences, family responsibilities, and the changes that can accompany motherhood.
Idije’s comments have added to ongoing conversations about marriage expectations, single parenthood and the pressure women face to meet traditional societal standards.
Her message emphasised that marriage does not happen at the same time for everyone and that women should not be shamed for circumstances beyond their control.
By questioning the demand for early marriage, the veteran actress encouraged a more understanding approach to women’s personal choices and experiences.
