If you’ve ever tried to find a word for entering a romantic relationship for what you stand to gain, you might be looking for “hobosexual”. More specifically, it’s a slang term for someone who enters or stays in a romantic or sexual relationship primarily to secure free housing or financial stability, rather than out of genuine affection.
And we found Nigerians living this reality. Here’s what they had to say.
I’m currently doing my master’s at UNILAG, and a final-year babe has attached herself to me even though I’ve subtly told her I’m not looking for a relationship. She has clearly fallen for me, and honestly, I’m just enjoying the flow. I don’t spend money on her. In fact, she gives me money and even lets me drive her car. She’s clearly a nepo baby, so my master’s experience has been sweet. The problem is that I’m also trying to force myself to feel the same way she does about me, but it’s not working. Maybe she’s just not my spec. Whatever the case, I’m still enjoying the benefits.
I moved to Lagos for NYSC without knowing anyone, so I was determined to make friends with people who actually lived there. That’s how I met this guy in camp who seemed like a rich dude. We got close and became intimate towards the end of camp. He wasn’t really my type romantically, but he had free housing, and I thought I could take advantage of that. After camp, I moved in with him and ended up squatting there for almost a year. We dated during that period, but deep down, I knew I wasn’t really feeling him. When I eventually moved back to Osun, I ended the relationship.
I dated a girl in university who wasn’t really my type. She was cute and pretty, but she was also obese, and I wasn’t attracted to her like that. We started as friends, but she began doing things that made me realise how much I could benefit from being close to her. She cooked for me, washed my clothes and gave me money. Her dad was a politician who spoilt her, and she even paid half of my fees on two occasions. People used to troll me for dating her, but they didn’t know what I was getting from the relationship. We stayed together throughout university before she relocated. We’re still cordial, and she still sends me money when I ask.
I couldn’t renew my Lagos rent after my landlord doubled it, and I didn’t have enough savings to cover the difference. There was a woman on my street who had always made passes at me, but I never responded because she had a child and looked older than me. When I got my quit notice, I told her about my situation, and she offered to let me squat with her for a monthly fee. The first two months were fine, but by the third month, her advances became harder to ignore. I knew I could lose the housing arrangement if I kept turning her down, so I eventually gave in. I stayed there for over a year before moving out.
My aunt once tried to set me up with her wealthy friend’s son. The moment I saw him, I knew he wasn’t for me, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that he had money to throw around. He was also very slow, so I dated him for eight months and made quite a bit of money from the relationship. He gave me a monthly allowance of about ₦150,000, but I never let things become sexual. The most I did was give him a handjob. He’s married now, but he still makes passes at me, and I know exactly what to say when I want him to send me money. I don’t feel bad about it because I never promised him what I wasn’t willing to give.
I dated someone in university whom I didn’t really like. He was loud, rude, and, honestly, not very good-looking, but he had money and was always after me. My parents were struggling financially, so apart from my tuition, I had to figure out my feeding and accommodation. They suggested I stay with a family friend, but the person lived too far away. I eventually gave this guy a chance because of what came with him. He lived in a private residence, had his own car and made sure I never worried about food or money. We stayed together after university, but once I got a good job during NYSC, I knew I could leave. I still can’t believe I dated him.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
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