Sometimes, life puts you in messy situations where you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing or not. That’s what Na Me F— Up? is about — real Nigerians sharing the choices they’ve made, while you decide if they fucked up or not.
Bisola* (29) and Omolola*(28) had been her best friends since university. So when Bisola lost her job in 2024, she trusted Omolola to help her find another one. But when she found out that Omolola had been keeping job opportunities from her, she decided to give her a taste of her own medicine.
At the end of this story, you’ll get to decide: did she fuck up or not?
Omolola and I met at the university in 2016 and became close almost immediately.
She was a year behind me, but we did almost everything together for the rest of our time there. We cooked, studied, and spent the holidays together with my family. By the time we graduated, she had become more than a friend to me.
Even after I moved to Lagos, we stayed close. She lived in Ibadan and visited me often.
Then in 2024, I lost my job unexpectedly.
I was worried about how I’d pay e my rent later that year. As soon as she heard, Omolola came to Lagos and stayed with me for a few days. She encouraged me and promised to send me any openings she found.
At first, she made good on her promise. Several times a week, I’d wake up to job application links from her. She was also looking for a new job, so she asked me to send her anything I found. This gave me extra motivation because it felt like we were in it together.
But after about three weeks, I noticed I was sending her far more opportunities than she was sending me. I figured work was keeping her busy, so I didn’t think too much of it.
Then Ann*, one of my friends, called me about an opening she thought I would be interested in. She said she’d already messaged Omolola about the role and asked her to tell me to apply, but Omolola had told her I wasn’t interested. I never said that.
To make matters worse, Ann casually mentioned that Omolola had received two job offers. I was shocked. We spoke almost every day, and she hadn’t mentioned either of them. One of the offers had even come from an application I’d sent her.
Only two nights earlier, she’d listened to me complain about another rejection email and encouraged me not to give up. I called her immediately.
When I asked why she’d told Ann I wasn’t interested in the role, she became defensive. She claimed she’d assumed I wouldn’t want it because the salary was lower than what I’d earned at my previous job. I reminded her that I was unemployed and worried about rent, so it wasn’t her place to decide which opportunities were good enough for me.
When I asked about her two new jobs, she went quiet. She admitted she hadn’t told me because she felt awkward. She knew I was struggling and didn’t want it to look like she was celebrating while I was still unemployed.
I didn’t buy it. I’d been sending her opportunities without worrying that she might get them before me. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t extend the same generosity to me.
She apologised and insisted she hadn’t deliberately tried to block me from getting a job. She also promised she’d keep sending me openings. I accepted her apology, but the entire experience changed the way I saw her. A few weeks later, I finally got a new job. I was relieved, but I didn’t tell Omolola. I only shared the news with my family and Ann, who had continued to check on me and send me openings. Omolola only found out when I posted about my first day on my WhatsApp status.
She called to congratulate me, but I could tell she was hurt. She asked why she had to find out from my status like everyone else when we were best friends. I told her I’d simply followed her example. She apologised again and said she understood why I was angry, but she thought we’d moved past the issue. I thought we had too.
Then Omolola lost both of the jobs she’d gotten. They were remote, and she’d convinced herself she could handle both at the same time. At first, it worked. Eventually, she started missing deadlines and couldn’t keep up with both workloads. Within a few months, she was unemployed again.
I felt bad for her. Whatever happened between us, I still cared about her. I called regularly, listened and reassured her that she’d find something else.
Around the same time, Ann also started looking for a new job. I knew my company had an opening that suited her, so I sent it to her. She applied, got the job and was excited.
Then she posted a WhatsApp status thanking me for helping her land a new job, and Omolola saw it. She sent me a private message almost immediately. She wanted to know why I’d helped Ann, even though I knew she was job hunting.
I explained that Ann was the better fit for the position, but she didn’t believe me. She said I was punishing her because our positions had reversed. She reminded me of how she’d helped me when I first lost my job. I tried to explain the situation, but she wasn’t having it, so I backed off.
Now, we barely speak.
Some of our friends think I should have prioritised her to prove there was no bad blood. Others think she only understands how much she hurt me because she has now experienced something similar herself.
I still care about her, and I don’t want our friendship to end over job applications. But I also don’t want to keep showing up for someone who has already shown that she might not do the same for me.
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